Creative Writing, Inspiration, mindfulness, My Story

Reasons why I write


Every once in a while, I freak out.  Why in the world am I putting all this personal stuff about my life online?

I woke up this morning feeling like I needed to update my blogging “Mission Statement.”  I wasn’t sure if I was going to share it or not, but now I feel like it belongs here.  So, here are the reasons why I write:

To share what I’ve learned.

To prepare for my future career and crystallize my thoughts.

I’ve had to learn so much and go pretty in-depth on certain topics just to heal myself.  Now, I think it’s pretty clear what my future specialties will be as a physical therapist, and I want to make sure I remember exactly where I’m coming from and what motivates me.

I don’t believe the traditional (insurance-based) physical therapy model is the best.

Honestly, in an ideal world, I wouldn’t have had to learn all this stuff.  Sure, I’m interested in it, but I also had to learn to take things into my own hands.

Even the times I found someone to really help me, it was never quite enough.  They were always under pressure from insurance companies, or company they worked for, to get results and demonstrate that I was progressing by certain markable bench lines each week.

In real life things are not always that clear, especially when you are dealing with a chronic condition.  People have setbacks– it doesn’t necessarily mean that their treatment isn’t helping.  It’s just the way things go.  External factors occur in our lives; our individual health fluctuates.

I recognize there are gaps in our current system, and I see how those gaps have failed me.  

I am putting this information out there so other people don’t have to spend the same amount of time looking for it that I did.

There is no good reason why things took me this long.  Honestly.  It took me years –and appointments with more medical professionals than I care to recall right now– to find the answers I needed, both for chronic pain and my SI joints.

There was no real reason, other than the first few doctors/PT’s I saw didn’t know what they didn’t know, so to speak.  So they left me with the impression nothing more could be done, when that was far from the case.

So now, I put my answers out there, for anyone who is desperately Googling the same things I used to.  

I don’t want it to take you that long.  It’s the best way for me to fight against that sense of pointlessness; to think that at least, maybe my experience can spare someone else what I went through.

I want to turn my experiences into something good.  

For a while, I tried to block out the enormity of my experience, and not acknowledge the big picture of how much things sucked at times.  It was the only way I could get through it at the time; to tell myself things weren’t that bad, to block some of it out.  To ignore how much I was missing out on.

But now that I’m a little bit older and wiser, my outlook has changed.  I try to accept what’s happened, and even try to find the good in it; the lessons learned.

There is good in it.

Luckily, through all of this, I discovered I truly do love learning about the human body.  I had never really thought of myself as much of a science person when I was younger.  In school, I gravitated towards the humanities and social sciences because I felt so passionately about social issues (and I still do).  And when you’re that age, I think you sometimes feel pressure to put yourself into a certain category.  I was a “humanities” person– I didn’t know I could also be a science person.

Educating myself– and others– on the science of the human body allows me to see how far I’ve come.

I haven’t written much about this yet, but when I was younger I put my body through the ringer.  I had an eating disorder and I exercised way too much.  Refusing to listen to my body caused me to develop the injuries that set off this spiral of chronic pain.  So it’s fulfilling for me now– almost meditative– to learn about the body from a scientific perspective, and to help other people find their way to a healthier life.


So I write:

To gather and clarify my thoughts;

To record the useful information I’ve already learned;

To share things that you might find helpful, some of which took me years to find;

and to let others know that, despite all of what I’ve been through, it’s actually possible to come out on the other side.

I hope what I write is helpful for you.

7 thoughts on “Reasons why I write”

  1. Physiotherapy has its place, and of course is recognised as a ‘valid’ therapy by the medical industry.

    My experience though, is that Physiotherapy is often rushed (to satisfy the insurance industry) and sometimes the core problem is missed… I.e. the car accident has actually shifted your skeletal structure and locked it in a new disfunctional position. Hypertonic muscles keep the skeleton immobilized to prevent further injury and the whole thing becomes chronic.
    Physiotherapists tend to rely on ice and heatpads far too much, and they generally only spend 5 to 10 minutes on manipulation (not enough) before introducing their client to stretching and strengthening, often before they are ready.
    I understand that there is pressure from insurance companies, but injuries are complicated (especially the non visible ones), and six to ten half-hour sessions (half of which is under a heat pad) will not improve a complicated muscoskeletal injury!

    1. Sorry, I have had bad experiences with Physiotherapists and often had to write insurance reports disagreeing with them, having to be very diplomatic in the process.

      1. I hear what you’re saying, and I think your criticisms of the field are valid. I’ve also seen physical therapists who failed to help me, and I believe the short-sighted insurance model played a role.

        That’s why I appreciate the PT’s who *were* able to help me so much– when someone is truly skilled, it’s really a gift. Hopefully I can be one of those PT’s someday!

        1. I hope you can help to change that field of work for the better. It has so much potential to do good things. Certainly the attitudes of Insurance companies needs to change. Unfortunately, they (insurance companies) will send their claimants to the therapists who ‘promise’ to churn them out in the standard allotted time.

          I wish you well in your endeavors, and certainly, you have chosen a modality of care that will offer you a livable income (many less recognised modalities, but equally valid in their scope, are more challenging because main stream medicine doesn’t’ give them any credit).

  2. Sorry you went through so much….PT is a great choice! I have done a lot of PT in my recent years (4 orthopedic surgeries between 2000 and 2012 is enough! That included full left hip replacement) so I have come to see, know and deeply value great PT from a team I trust.

    PT’s need to balance a tricky blend of skills — tough enough to push us into work that might be scary and painful and kind enough that we want to do it!

    Here’s my NYT essay about it — that is framed and hangs at the entrance to my PT’s office. :-_

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