Welcome to Sunlight in Winter!
I’m Christy, and I’m an aspiring physical therapist. I started this blog several years ago to share what I’ve learned on my own personal journey with chronic pain.
From there my focus has grown. Now I also write about health & fitness, developing a healthy relationship with your body, and my journey through life itself.
I hope what you read here is helpful to you!
The longer version:
People that know me in real life have seen that, throughout much of my 20’s, I often had some kind of physical problem that limited my ability to walk, drive, or even hang out with friends. Someday when I get brave enough to share this blog with friends and acquaintances, this is probably the first post I’ll want them to read.
There are two major health issues on the table for me right now.
1) Getting back to shape after severe injury
I am perpetually struggling to get my body back to where it was before the injury that ended my running career. I was a long-distance runner in high school, participating in both the cross-country and track teams, when I developed severe compartment syndrome during my junior year. It got to the point where I was unable to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes at a time (forget about running).
My doctor told me I should try conservative methods of treatment before I went the surgery route. I wasted two and a half years of trying to live with compartment syndrome and waiting for physical therapy to help me before I finally decided to have the surgery. The surgery was a breeze and I was up and walking the second day afterwards. My compartment syndrome was gone, but I was left completely out of shape.
Once you lose your body’s equilibrium, it can be hard to get back. I was lucky enough to be born healthy. But everything in the body is connected, and if one part of your body isn’t functioning properly, it is only a matter of time before something else starts to hurt too. This is why I often refer to my health problems as a row of dominoes that got knocked over. Everything’s fine and dandy when all of your dominoes are standing upright in a line, but knock over just one domino, and it triggers a chain reaction. They all fall.
2) A nervous system that’s freaking out
A few months after my surgery for compartment syndrome at age 19, I began to feel almost constant pain that migrated through different parts of my body. Although I did have objective measures of pathology from everything my body had been through, almost every physical therapist I saw would tell me I seemed to be in more pain than other patients they had treated with similar problems. “I don’t know why it hurts you so much… you do have a problem here, but it shouldn’t hurt that much,” was a common refrain.
For years, I dealt with this mysterious pain on almost a daily basis. I spent a lot of time and money seeking out answers from various medical specialists and physical therapists. I also endured a lot of frustration and indignity.
Finally finding answers
At age 25, six years into my chronic pain fight, I finally found an amazing physical therapist who had been trained in a relatively new approach to chronic pain treatment, called pain neurophysiology education. I’ll be talking about this more in the Calming Your Nervous System section of my blog.
This PT was able to explain to me the changes that had taken place in my nervous system, after all that my body had been through. He explained that sometimes, when the body goes through something that it perceives as traumatic, it can affect the way the nervous system works afterwards. This is known as central sensitization and research is increasingly showing it to be one of the main causes for chronic pain and fibromyalgia.
He was also able to explain to me some new techniques that research is showing can help the nervous system to calm down. These techniques haven’t taken the pain away completely, but my life is a million times better now.
Looking towards the future
I’ve found the best way to move forwards is to learn as much about the body as I can. For one thing, it helps to keep my level of pain in check because, if a given part of my body starts to hurt, at least I have some idea of what could be going on. Research has shown that the more knowledge a chronic pain patient has regarding the nature of the nervous system and anatomy in general, the less likely their level of pain is to fluctuate out of control.
Furthermore, at times when things are calm and I’m not in too much pain, I can actually pause and recognize that what’s happened to me is actually kind of interesting. It’s like the advice that is often given to people trying to meditate: be still inside and observe everything that goes on around you without judgment. Sometimes I am able to apply this philosophy to dealing with my physical problems and, even if for just a moment, detach and become still on the inside.
From that perspective, I can think about how amazing the body is– the millions and billions of cells, the intricate network of capillaries and blood vessels, the delicate wiring of neurons and nerve cells communicating– the human body is a miracle. It’s horrible to be in pain, but the experience of pain, too, is a part of that miracle, and our anatomy can be fascinating. The more I learn about how the body works, the more I have a sense of awe for it, and it is easier for me to switch from anger to appreciation mode.** This is why I recommend everyone learn as much about anatomy and physiology as they can.
**Don’t worry. I also have plenty of days where I am grumpy and cranky and I hate everything. I am less excited to document those on the Internet.
For more personal posts about my life, check out:
- Calming Your Nervous System (a series of posts on how I learned to manage my pain in physical therapy)
- How I developed central sensitization,Part 1
- Building back my muscle strength
- How I’ve (mostly) made sense of my issues
- Why are you writing about overcoming pain, when you’re still in pain?
- I only understood myself…
- Inner Limits
- The road to physical therapy school
- A Clearing
- The things I don’t have easy answers for (friendship and chronic pain)
- Maybe my weaknesses aren’t weaknesses. Maybe they are strengths
- Healing our bodies, and the things that ripple across generation
- What’s in my chronic pain toolkit?
- Seeing things clearly, without that added layer of judgement on top
- Being okay with uncertainty