Newfound possibility

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I’ve been away from my blog for the past month, and I have so much to tell you all. I took what was supposed to be a five-day trip to a wedding in California, and turned it into an amazing, impromptu two and a half week stay.

To be honest, I was really scared to take this trip. Since I first developed health issues at age 19, I have really not traveled very much at all. It’s only been in the past four years or so that I’ve started to open myself back up to small weekend trips around New England.

But California? I had to go… one of my oldest friends was getting married.

So I went. But I really didn’t want to.

I hadn’t traveled in so long that everything felt rusty. I’d clung to the same routine for so long, hoping my pain and SI joint issues wouldn’t get worse… and now, everything was about to change.

Now that I look back, I can’t believe I was so scared of a five-day trip. It’s not like I was traveling to the middle of nowhere. I was going to Napa Valley and San Francisco… two places that are hardly without amenities. I had just gotten so used to the idea that travel was not for me, that I felt as though I was traveling to a foreign country.

So I went.. and everything turned out fine. Better than fine. The wedding was in Napa, and then after that I spent two nights at my friend Karen’s apartment in San Francisco. We were having such an amazing time catching up, Karen finally getting to show me the sights and sounds of the city she’d been telling me about for ten years. After one day, we decided I should switch my plan ticket and stay. It’s something that felt so out of character for me… but I did it.

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It ended up being a great adventure, and in some ways… I feel as though I re-joined the modern world. (It feels weird to tell you all this, but it’s the truth). My health issues had forced me to stay still in one place for so long, that it seemed so much had passed me by.

Now, it was time for bootcamp. I had to remember how to book a plane ticket; how to check a bag and get through security. How to handle a rental car. I got an AirBnb account; I got Uber; I got Lyft. I had to navigate us all throughout Napa Valley for the various wedding events, and then back down to San Francisco.

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I had to put so many of my fears aside, because there simply wasn’t time for them. And I realized that (apart from the extreme amounts of money I spent on the trip) most of my fears turned out to be unfounded.

To be fair, I had some amazing friends to help me. My friend Karen is amazing, and so is my friend Amanda, who flew with me from Boston to be my plus one at the wedding. Part of the reason I asked Amanda to come – other than, of course, wanting her company– is that I was afraid I would need a lot of help physically, dealing with my suitcase and stuff like that.

But it was all okay, and if anything, I realized I really didn’t need Amanda’s help as much as I thought. Now, I actually think I could have made the trip alone (although I obviously still would have wanted to have Amanda come for the company!).

The lesson I’m taking away from this is that sometimes, change can be good. A new experience, particularly one that we fear, can be a great way for us to open ourselves to new possibilities, and to learn things we didn’t even know we didn’t know.

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Now, I’m not suggesting that things are always going to be easy, or that all those of us with health problems have to do is wave our magic wand, think positive, and hop on a plane, guaranteed a great trip.

There’s a lot that has gone into getting me to this point. Learning the right exercises to strengthen my body, and learning the right techniques to help calm my nervous system. My life is opening back up again, but it’s only been because of the time I’ve spent being mindful of how I live, and carry myself, and remembering to work with my body instead of against it.

This is why I feel so powerfully about some of the things I share on my blog– when you have chronic pain or fibromyalgia, it is possible for things to change.

I’m so glad I took this trip, and am so excited to see where my newfound sense of possibility takes me. I hope you will all stay tuned!

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