Healing from the Past

As a teenager, I ran cross-country and track for my high school teams.  I genuinely loved running (and I was pretty fast!).

What people didn’t know is that I was also hiding an eating disorder.  I kept my weight much lower than was healthy for my body by restricting my calorie intake and exercising way too much.

Over time, refusing to listen to my body’s limits led me to eventually develop compartment syndrome, the lower leg injury which ended my running career and eventually required me to have surgery.

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For me, part of recovering from chronic pain has meant coming full circle; back to the unhealthy beliefs and tendency towards self-judgement that led me to develop compartment syndrome in the first place.

In a way, it’s been a good thing– in my quest to find answers, I ended up discovering a new way to treat my body: to respect it and listen to its needs.  There was really no time for judgement, or “shoulds”– the pain drowned the voices of judgement out.

In the end, I’m actually kind of grateful for the pain, because it forced me to prioritize the things that were actually good for my body.

Here are some of the things I’ve written about that time in my life:

And here are some of my inspirations, as I try to tell this part of my story: