As a teenager I had pretty severe body image issues, which is what led me to exercise way too much and develop compartment syndrome (the lower leg injury which ended my running career and eventually required me to have surgery).
For me, part of recovering from chronic pain has meant coming full circle; back to the unhealthy beliefs and tendency towards self-judgement that led me to develop this injury in the first place.
In a way, it’s been a good thing– my struggle to overcome chronic pain also ended up teaching me what I needed to learn in order to make peace with my past eating disorder. I had to learn to about respect my body, and listening to its needs.
There was really no time for judgement, or “shoulds”– the pain drowned the voices of judgement out, and forced me to focus on the really important things. So the truth is, I’m actually kind of grateful it happened.
I haven’t written too much about this aspect of my story yet, but here are my first few posts:
How I developed central sensitization: Part 1 (begins to touch upon the high school part of my story)